Situation
Someone is asking me for money
Someone you know mainly, or only, through a screen has asked you for money — for an emergency, an investment, a fee, or to 'help' with something urgent. Before you send anything, it's worth understanding what is actually knowable about them right now.
First and most important
Do not send money while the identity and story are unverified
This holds regardless of how long you've spoken, how convincing the relationship feels, or how small the amount seems. A request for money from someone you have not independently verified is the single highest-risk moment in an online relationship or unfamiliar business contact — and it is far easier to pause before paying than to recover funds afterwards.
This is not about assuming the worst of the person asking. It's about recognising that you cannot yet tell the difference between a genuine emergency and a well-rehearsed one, and that a short delay to check facts costs you very little compared with what an unverified payment could cost.
Recognise the shape
Common escalation patterns
Money requests connected to online relationships and unfamiliar contacts tend to follow recognisable shapes, even when the details differ.
- A small, plausible first request framed as temporary or one-off
- An emergency that conveniently prevents a video call or in-person meeting
- Requests to use gift cards, crypto, or informal transfer services instead of traceable bank transfers
- A story that grows in scale once the first payment is made without incident
- Pressure to act quickly and keep the request private from friends, family or colleagues
- An investment or business opportunity offering unusually high or guaranteed returns
What checking can do
What verification can realistically establish before you decide
Can help establish
- Whether the identity presented is consistent with public information
- Whether photos, names or claimed employment show a genuine public trace
- Whether the same persona, images or account details appear in other reported cases
- Whether a claimed business or investment entity is genuinely registered and active
Cannot establish
- Certainty that any specific emergency described is true or false
- Guaranteed recovery of money already sent
- Access to the other party's private accounts, messages or bank details
- Legal action on your behalf — that requires your bank, payment provider or the police
Already sent money?
What to do immediately
Speed matters more than anything else at this stage.
- STEP 01
Contact your bank or payment provider now
Report the payment as suspected fraud immediately. Some transfers, especially card payments, can sometimes be halted or reversed if reported quickly — but the window closes fast.
- STEP 02
Report it to the authorities where you live
File a report with your local police or national fraud-reporting body. This is required by many banks and payment platforms before they will investigate further.
- STEP 03
Stop all further payments
Scammers frequently ask for a further 'fee' to release or recover the original amount. This is itself a common continuation of the same scheme.
- STEP 04
Preserve every message, profile and transaction record
Screenshot conversations, profiles, payment confirmations and any documents shared before accounts are deleted or blocked.
- STEP 05
Get an independent, documented account of what happened
A clear written record of the identity, claims and payment history supports your bank's investigation and any report you file.
Before you submit a case
What to gather
- Every profile, username and platform used to contact you
- All photographs and screenshots received
- A timeline of the relationship or contact, including when money was first requested
- Payment records: amounts, dates, methods and receiving details
- Any claimed employer, company name or investment platform
- Copies of every message related to the money request
The right service
Which service fits your situation
The right starting point depends on whether this is a personal relationship, a stranger online, or a business or investment context.
If this began as a romantic or personal online relationship, a romance scam investigation is generally the right fit — it looks specifically at identity, images and known patterns associated with romance-based fraud. If the request came through a business opportunity, marketplace, investment platform or unfamiliar transaction, an online scam investigation is broader and better suited. And if no money has moved yet and you simply want confidence before you pay anything at all, start with Verify Before You Pay.
Deliverable
What a report will contain
- A documented timeline of contact, claims and payment requests
- Findings on whether the identity presented is corroborated by public information
- Any links found to other profiles, aliases or previously reported activity
- The sources each finding rests on, and the confidence level attached
- A plain-language summary suitable for sharing with your bank or a fraud report
Frequently asked questions
Should I send a smaller amount to test them?
No. Sending any amount, however small, does not test a scammer's honesty — it only confirms that you will pay. If the story and identity are unverified, the safest position is to send nothing until you have independent information.
They've never asked before, so is this time different?
A first request is often deliberately modest and framed as urgent and temporary — a stuck invoice, a customs fee, a medical bill. The framing is designed to feel like an exception rather than a pattern. Treat the first request with the same caution as a large one.
Can you get my money back?
No. Investigation work documents who and what was involved, and it can support a report to your bank, payment provider or the authorities, but it does not recover funds and no legitimate service can guarantee that.
I've already sent money more than once. Is it too late to check?
It's not too late to gather what you know and have it reviewed. A documented account of what happened is useful for your bank, for any report you file, and for understanding whether the same identity has been used elsewhere.
What if they get upset that I'm asking questions?
A genuine acquaintance, partner or business contact will generally understand caution around money. Defensiveness, guilt-tripping or pressure to decide quickly in response to reasonable questions is itself a signal worth weighing.
Continue reading
- Verify someone you met onlineCheck an identity before things go further.
- Verify before you payA check before any money changes hands.
- Guide: romance scam red flagsRecognise the pattern early.
- Romance Scam InvestigationFocused review for personal relationships.
- Online Scam InvestigationBroader review for business and platform scams.
- Sample reportSee how findings are presented.
Get an honest read before you send anything else
Describe the situation and what's been asked of you. You'll receive a clear scope and price before any work begins.